I've been neglecting this blog lately, I don't know if I have any regular readers but if so I apologize.
The problem is my wife, Darcy is not doing very well. We had to call the paramedics to take her to the hospital 4 weeks ago on Sunday. After 3 weeks she got out on Friday night, but by last Thursday (less than a week) she had to go back in. The doctor was very worried that all her blood stats had gotten worse, mainly the ones indicating kidney function. They say she is now down to 10% kidney function.
So, I've been too depressed to write very much, nor have I wanted to talk about it. I don't think she has much more time and I'm stressing out. I've literally been nauseas for the last 4 weeks. We always knew it was just a matter of time, that she couldn't dodge bullets forever, but we never anticipated a slow decline where she got to the point of being bed-bound. She's miserable now because everything is a struggle and she's in some pain, though not a lot most of the time.
After 9.5 years of her anti-rejections meds her kidneys and liver are failing and there isn't much we can do about that.
2 comments:
i symphatize with your situation. human suffering is indeed totally irreconcilable with the concept of a loving god. we, atheists, do not have the consolation of the belief in an afterlife. however, our hope is more truthful that what religions offer. existence is a privelege, no matter how short it is. what matter most is the quality of life that we spend. love, compassion, happiness do not lose their meaning simply because god does not exists. life is more meaningful simply becuase it is temporary.
Thanks for the sympathy, but, truth to tell being able to believe in an afterlife would be a great comfort right now, but I couldn't pretend to believe. I think it's a terrible crime that a woman as magnificent as Darcy should be gone forever, but there is nothing I can do about it.
One of the nurses asked Darcy how she kept going and she said "I put on my Big Girl Pants and keep putting one step in front of the next." Is that great or what?
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